How to be a more confident you! An eight-step cycle
We are excited to launch our new 8-step Confidence Cycle (TM) looking at the different stages in building confidence. To learn more and follow some short one-minute exercises to become more confident, read on….
Before we begin, let’s take a moment to consider what is confidence and why it is important.
There are many different definitions of the word confidence. Here is one from Lexico.com. Confidence is: ‘a feeling of self-assurance arising from an appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities’. The word comes from the Latin ‘fidere’ which means to trust. Having confidence in others is having faith or trust in their ability; so having self-confidence is having trust in yourself and your own capacity.
Why is confidence important?
Having confidence to put yourself forward helps you access whatever it is you aspire to and deserve: whether a pay-rise, a promotion or a speaking opportunity.
Confidence allows you to rise up and reach your potential. Lack of confidence can lead to shyness, inaction and missed opportunities.
Stepping out of your comfort zone stimulates your brain; as you learn, you build connections. Each time you stretch yourself, you strengthen those connections, things start to feel easier and you build confidence.
So whatever it is you want to achieve, start small and keep practising! It is a cycle.
The Confidence Cycle
The Confidence Cycle (TM) looks at the different stages in building confidence.
Consider Your Goals And The Impact You Want To Make
A clear direction helps you identify priority areas for your self-development.Know Your Strengths: This Is One Key To Confidence
A focus on what you do well and what you enjoy brings all sorts of benefits.Manage Your Mind Monkeys
We all have little voices in our heads trying to keep us safe; learn to tame them. Thank them for their concern, but don’t allow them into the driving seat.Develop Your Personal Brand
Create your own story about who you are. What might someone say about you when you are not in the room? Take control of your narrative.Raise Your Profile
Build on your personal brand and strengths. What can you do to raise your profile and amplify your impact?Manage Setbacks
Experiment. Fail fast. Build resilience. Practice breeds confidence.Celebrate Success
For every achievement, however big or small, take time to celebrate your wins.Stretch Yourself
Gently push yourself out of your comfort zone. This boosts your growth and builds confidence.
When you finish a cycle, look back at how far you have come and set new goals for the next phase. Hopefully you will notice you are becoming braver and more ambitious.
The First Four Steps Of The Confidence Cycle
Let’s look more closely at the first four elements of the cycle and think about what this means for you.
Consider Your Goals
What impact do you want to make at work or in the world? Having a clear goal in mind will help you define how to develop yourself.
Start by thinking about three things you would like to have achieved or be doing differently by the end of this year or whatever timeframe you choose.
One-Minute Exercise: Define Your Goals
Jot down what you would like to achieve in your career by the end of 2020. It could be a promotion, a specific target, or simply to be happier in your current role or providing a secure place of work for your team.
2. Identify Your Strengths
When you ask people what they are good at, they often start telling you what they are not good at. Here are three good reasons to focus on your strengths and identify when you are being your best self.
Enjoyment – We spend a huge amount of our time at work. Not enjoying your work due to a lack of confidence serves neither you nor your employer.
Opportunities – Once you can articulate your strengths, you act like a magnet and can draw exciting opportunities your way.
Collaboration – If your colleagues know your strengths and preferences they can help match you to roles that suit. Being in flow boosts your value and contribution.
Make a quick note of what skills you need to achieve the goals you have just identified, and now let’s consider your strengths.
One-Minute Exercise: Define Your Strengths
Write down 20 things that you are good at. This could be at work, at home, hobbies etc. What would your greatest fan, your mum or your best friend say about you? You can list attributes, like ‘ambitious’ or ‘confident’, or skills, like ‘gardening’ or ‘singing’. Note down anything that comes to mind. There are no right or wrong answers and no one else is going to see your list.
How was that? If you found it hard, ask some people you trust to tell you three things they think you are great at.
Start sorting these ideas into different levels of strengths. No one is good at everything and this awareness is another key step in becoming more confident. Learning to assess your strengths helps you value your core abilities. Accept that you do not need to excel at everything. Focus on key areas for development where you could seek further support and training.
3. Manage Your Mind Monkeys
‘Mind Monkeys’ are sometimes called gremlins, your inner critic or imposter syndrome. Too often we start believing these little voices in our heads. Even the most accomplished leaders have them, as Michelle Obama freely admits. The trick is to learn to manage them, even make friends with them; some people give their voice a name, like Doris or Bob.
In her book, The Discomfort Zone, Farah Storr, Editor of Elle, describes that inner voice as a gift, an internal control mechanism that highlights areas where we can achieve more. Respond to your inner voice by flipping the conversation around into a more positive direction.
Take a moment to think about when your mind monkey shows up.
One-Minute Exercise: The Voices In My Head Say…
When you are not feeling confident, what is one thing your hear the voice in your head saying? Write that down. Now write down some responses so you can turn this internal feedback into a positive.
4. Develop Your Personal Brand
Powerful brands – Coca Cola, Nike or Mercedes – help people make choices between different products. The best brands are distinctive. The same goes for individuals.
A strong personal brand puts you in control. It helps people remember you for what you can offer. That opens the door to opportunity. How would you want people to remember you when you have walked out of the room?
Clarity around your personal brand breeds confidence. Take a moment to think of someone you know with a great personal brand. You immediately know their strengths and how they add value to their organisation.
There are many ways to start crafting a personal brand: from Twitter to LinkedIn, a book or a TedTalk, or simply by defining how you want people to be talking about you now and in the future.
What one action can you take today to become more confident?
One-Minute Exercise: One Thing To Change…
Spend a moment jotting down one thing you will do differently from now on.
And when you next doubt yourself or feel you lack confidence, remember the Confidence Cycle (TM) and get back on track.
If you are considering remote training and development opportunities for your organisation, and would like me to run a webinar based on the Confidence Cycle for your team, then do get in touch to find out more.