How to stay motivated
Our focus for this Season is ‘Being Your Best Self’ and it is an absolute pleasure to welcome my good friend, Tamara Gillan, as my guest. Today, we’ll be talking about ‘How to stay motivated’.
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About this episode
Our focus for this Season is ‘Being Your Best Self’ and it is an absolute pleasure to welcome my good friend, Tamara Gillan, as my guest today. Tamara is an entrepreneur, change-agent and champion for female empowerment and equality. She is the founder of The WealthiHer Network whose mission is to drive the economic advancement of women globally, and is an experienced Chief Executive, having founded and run two successful marketing agencies over the past 15 years. She is also my peer mentor, a single mother and has had to fight for her own success so knows a lot about ‘How to stay motivated’ which is what we’ll be focussing on today.
Resources
The WealthiHer Network: https://www.wealthihernetwork.com/
Kate Turner’s book: CREATE Motivation: Unlock the Leader Within
Episode transcript
Joy Burnford: Our focus for this Season is ‘Being Your Best Self’ and it is an absolute pleasure to welcome my good friend, Tamara Gillan, as my guest today. Tamara is an entrepreneur, change-agent and champion for female empowerment and equality. She is the founder of The WealthiHer Network whose mission is to drive the economic advancement of women globally, and is an experienced Chief Executive, having founded and run two successful marketing agencies over the past 15 years. She is also my peer mentor, a single mother and has had to fight for her own success so knows a lot about ‘How to stay motivated’ which is what we’ll be focussing on today. Hello, Tamara, and welcome to The Confidence Conversation.
Tamara Gillan: Hello, Joy. It's wonderful to meet my dear friend and confidence queen again.
Joy Burnford: Lovely to have you. Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me today. I'd love to talk to you today about how to stay motivated or how to feel motivated. So I'd love to talk to you a bit about your background, your career and family and top tips from you on how you stay motivated and how you managed to fit life and work together.
Tamara Gillan: I'm very proud to be here because I remember when we first met seven years ago, you said ‘I am motivated, I am going to create my confidence podcast and here we are!
Joy Burnford: Thank you. Brilliant. So perhaps you could start off in a nutshell, tell me a little bit about your background and how you came to set up Cherry London and The WealthiHer Network.
Tamara Gillan: I have two very strong sides. And my historical background has been the driving forces for me. One is my father. My father is an entrepreneur, he is a man that says the harder I work the luckier I get. He also believes that if you're confident that you can achieve anything. If you're confident, you're motivated, you work very hard, you can achieve things. And you know, he's done many things in his life. And I was his eldest child and I just always wanted to follow into business and I was always going to be an entrepreneur. And then on the other side, I have this powerhouse female mother, but actually who is one of six girls born to Eve, a really matriarchal family of very bright, strong women who are very well educated, informed, read. And actually these two sides, I just feel very blessed that I had the privilege of those. And so I actually was born in London, because my dad is English, my mother is a New Zealander. When we hit our early teens, my mother said, I want to bring my children up in New Zealand, I want them to be outdoors, I don't want inner city living for them. And so I was educated there and had the freedom to grow up actually really, really free. And I do think that did help with my confidence and freedom, and there was not a lot of prejudice. And I came back to London when I was 24. Because I couldn't stay in New Zealand, and travelled for the world for a year. And I said I'm going to start my first business by 30. If I set that goal, I will do it. When I turned 30, I was at Orange, which is now EE in the mobile industry. And I was like oh no, I really have to.
Joy Burnford: That's the thing about telling people, you're going to have to do it. Something like this podcast, I was like, I'm going to do this podcast and you tell people, and you've got to do it.
Tamara Gillan: You have to do it. And so I think that those things are good and tell people. So I started my first business at 30 and we used to do all sorts of faking it like having fake a system which was actually me. We were really lucky. The first client was Superdrug and then Red Bull. But I actually lost the business actually three years later because I didn't run the money. And Cherry was born out of failure, actually, several years later. And actually, I learned a lot from that. And I think lessons were important. And then through my 10 years into my Cherry journey, advising big clients like O2, HSBC, I said, I want to help women to understand money, get behind the money, feel confident in their decisioning with money and change their futures, because I've learned personally, through getting it wrong. And that was where WealthiHer Network was born in 2019.
Joy Burnford: Amazing, you're doing such an amazing job as well, with WealthiHer. And we'll put on the show notes, some information about how people can read about the work you're doing as well, you've achieved some amazing things (visit the WealthiHer Network website). And you always strike me as a very confident person. Is this true?
Tamara Gillan: I think I probably am very confident and I do remember, when I first started my business, or even early on in my career, I do think you sometimes have a little bit of blind faith, you believe and so you can. Sometimes as you get more experienced, you go through and those knocks, you might think, you know, you don't have that blind faith, but I definitely had it. And I've always had that belief. And I also think the optimism is really, really important. And I do have that firm belief, you know, learn, it's not a failure….it is a failure, but learn from it, it is good, and pick yourself up. And I know from when I lost my first business, it hurt me to my core, to my bone. And actually, I am so glad I started again and did it again. Because otherwise that would live with me forever. And I will gain confidence in doing it again. The things I got wrong,
Joy Burnford: Absolutely. And I think failure is a really important one, isn't it. To actually fail is not failure. I think you know, you just you move on, and you learn from that, it’s really important. So I guess you faced a few confidence challenges after your first business. How do you deal with those challenges that you have?
Tamara Gillan: I had a really good coach. Someone said to me early on, get a coach. I had a really good advisor, a business advisor, who has been with me on the journey through thick and thin, through crying, laughing and celebrating. And I think as an entrepreneur, particularly, it's quite lonely at times, because you have to put on a leader face, you have to face things that other people as you know, with what you do, you have to face things you can't share with your team. So I think having someone to talk to who had been there, done that, I could learn from. And I've also had work with an executive coach over the years. Because I also think sometimes when you're in organisations or you get the privilege of working with someone like you, you develop. As an entrepreneur, you're just developing on your learnings, no one's developing you to develop teams. So actually, personal development. I have, through the pandemic, I’d forgotten about that I need to do a bit of coaching. Because, you know, it's all been so critical business but actually, that personal development helps you be better, and more confident, but it does help.
Joy Burnford: And that self-reflection and time to actually step back and think when you're busy, as you say you just often forget about it.
Tamara Gillan: And I loved and I have to say again, you know, you, when you reached out to me personally and said, What do you think about peer to peer mentoring. And I didn't know what it is but it sounded very good. It’s been an incredibly cathartic way to talk to a fellow entrepreneur, confidence campaigner, female empowerment campaigner, and actually to talk about some of the things that are facing me personally.
Joy Burnford: Yes, and the theme for this episode is all about motivation. I think that's the other thing I found as well, when I'm lacking in motivation, and it happened a lot over the last year really, for me personally was the lockdown. And I remember thinking when I was doing the homeschooling and the whole juggle of everything else thinking, I can't do this. And I was lacking in motivation. I just couldn't focus on work, actually, because I was my head was so full of other stuff. Tell me how that's been for you in this last year in particular. You spent some time in New Zealand in the beginning of the pandemic, but tell me about your family at home and how you managed to fit the whole thing together? And what kind of support network you have.
Tamara Gillan: All the stuff that we do, talking to women, I think that we know that Covid disproportionately impacted women, disproportionately impacted caregivers, whether that was families, whether that was children, business owners, leaders, running teams, nothing has pushed me more than the last year and a half. And I would think to myself, I built tools for mental resilience, emotional resilience, and I'm actually going on holiday on Saturday, and I feel like I'm going to collapse and it's one of those things to turn it into a positive way. But it's one of those things that I think that so often I've learned to take breaks, take stock, you know, and some of that's about celebrating your successes, but also reflection, talking about it. But actually, taking breaks, we’ve forgotten how to do those things. I also think that I have, you know, all of us have kind of separated from some friends, distance has separated us, or support networks in my life, but actually recently started to reconnect. And remember, you know, I guess it has been a reckoning of who is really important that I've been there, or who's been there for me. Going back to New Zealand unexpectedly in lockdown thinking, well, in New Zealand borders were closing, my mother had Covid. And being trapped for six months was a magical challenge. It was being with my family, I had forgotten I have a really strong family. I know this because my parents come here, but I was there with my brother, my young son, you know, similar age to your son, having access to my dad, and over a long period of time, rather than a holiday going fishing with my brother. My mother is actually a far better traditional parent than I am. And he came back a far nicer boy, and now he takes his plate to the dishwasher. And I’d forgotten how nice it was to have family involved every day.
Joy Burnford: And you're a single mum as well. So you have that all to juggle?
Tamara Gillan: Absolutely. And actually having someone else to back you up, well, my mother, who's more terrifying than anyone I know.
Joy Burnford: So tell me about you think about motivation. Have you had times where you've really lacked motivation? Whether recently or over time. What are your tips for staying motivated? Can you talk me through some of those?
Tamara Gillan: I think that there are always times as I said, when there are moments when I've had to learn around. I've always been classically good when there's a lot of pressure and another deadline and you know, an outcome. And then sometimes after that, when you just go, Oh, it's just normal, everyday work or life. And I can find I go into all that and I don't want to do anything for a little bit. Obviously, the realities of single motherhood, leadership, business. But I definitely found those moments where there has been upset or there has, you know, when I got divorced, or where you faced a particularly long stint, which we all have through Covid. Some of my tips which I don’t do, and I have taught myself, and I'd forgotten but I reminded myself in the answering of this question is, I think it's really important to reward and celebrate success. Small, big, it doesn't matter. And one of the things is, you know, we did a big event this week. And one of the things we asked women to say was what are you proud of? Because when do you ever say I'm really proud, I did this? And I have this lovely young nanny who's been with me through lockdown and kept me sane. And she started this thing called the champagne moment at dinner at the end of the week, and she’d say ‘What's your champagne moment?’ And I’d say, partnering with the UN and I hadn’t said that to anyone. And I think it's so important to celebrate. And another one could be I stopped working and I went outside today. Or I listened to Andra Day, Rise Up, or I created a playlist and I listened to it. I think celebrating your successes, I think is really cool.
Joy Burnford: And that proud thing is interesting, because a friend of mine, actually, last night, just last night sent me a text message saying she'd listened to this podcast. And, you know, she said, I hope you're proud. And I just thought, Yeah, and it's so nice to be reminded that. To think actually, yes, I should be proud to have achieved something and I often don't stop and think about those moments.
Tamara Gillan: It's really good to also to say to somebody else, whether that's well done for doing that, or you look great. Because we don't as women. I think feeling proud for yourself, I think keeps you motivated and celebrating the successes, and particularly also in the team. I'm really terrible because I'm a relentless entrepreneur. So I'm often like, that was great, what next. And that is my big failure and I'm working on. My Dad taught me the second one which is what you take out you must put back in. Because you cannot do the juggle, the parenthood, the school, the homework, the work, the leadership without putting something back in. And I think that's got three things. I believe you have to exercise for as much as your mind whether that's go for a walk after your runaway dog like yours. For me, I actually like to do some exercise or do yoga or something that moves. And it's as much about the mind. I also think inherently in that I think nourishing yourself and nourishment isn't just in, you know, sustenance, vitamins. I think that's people and emotional nourishment from people. And also, I think, a bit of self love, inherently in that linking to the first. And I also think that you have to plan and you have to take time, if you're being constantly relentless like me, how do you know when you've achieved, you know, you've got your plan and your path, and you can tick things off and say, I did that and I feel good about that. That's a little micro win, and I'm going to move on to the next. So you've got to know what the big win is, when you find time to reflect upon that.
Joy Burnford: Interesting, really, really interesting. What particularly drives you, I'd be really interested to know what is it that kind of gets you up in the morning?
Tamara Gillan: I'm very outcome focused, I love probably, you know, I love a goal. I hate not achieving a goal. Something was really annoying me and I was trying to find it, actually, you know, and I was thinking I am a classic completed finisher. I'm not someone that can leave it half done and like a load of empty. I'm like, No, no, I like to finish that. And sometimes that works against me. I love working with people. I love making things happen for people, I love bringing people to gather to make even bigger things happen. I have found my true calling through the pandemic and WealthiHer and having a purpose to do something that not only is about business, I love business, I think actually, having business and purpose combined means to convince, you know, it has to be about growth businesses that partner with you work with you, because Why else do they do this, but you can do even more, but doing something with a greater good in mind for me and you? Yes, that's about empowering women. And I love that. And I have to say that has certainly, you know, set me free. And then finally, there's probably a big fat, you know, entrepreneur’s child in me that was always going to do that, and always wanted to do that. And actually, my dad said to me in New Zealand, that's enough why not just go consult, work two days a week and have a nice life.
Joy Burnford: But would that motivate you?
Tamara Gillan: No. I’m a completed finisher. I couldn’t go into a company going, Hey, do this and then going, what have you done? You haven’t done much.
Joy Burnford: No, absolutely, I think that whole purpose thing is really important, isn't it? And that, you know, to have to have a purpose can really help with motivation. I was talking earlier today to a friend called Kate Turner, who's written a book called Create Motivation, which is worth a read, if you haven't read it. She also runs a motivational leadership company, but we were talking about motivation. And she was talking about ebb and flow. And actually what you need changes, what you need now that was right five years ago, isn't right now. So I guess one of my questions to you is, how often do you think about and articulate your needs? And are these being met?
Tamara Gillan: I hardly ever articulate my needs. And I think it is very hard. I think so many people have been through this experience that we've all been through, and actually need seems to have gone out the door. It's just been about get through, push through. And actually, just recently, one of my really good friends took me through this exercise, and it was about this nourishment and this emotional thing. And actually, I realise I've been divorced for five years. And actually, for the first time, I realised I want someone to have a relationship with, I want to try and meet someone. And that is a really weird thing, just not to have thought about. And I don't know if that's because my son just turned seven, he's hitting a point. But if you don't acknowledge those things, and you don't create space for those for that to happen, how do you change things? And how do you have positive outcomes on that? And then weirdly, and this is far too much information for a podcast. One of my dear friends introduced me to her boss, and I've been on a few dates and I really like him and whether or not it goes anywhere, I think if you didn't acknowledge the change in you that you didn't think well, I'm open to it, and then someone can suggest to you. So I do think you have to reflect and that's obviously a very personal example. But I think that's also very much in business. People need to, and I've said this to a lot of entrepreneurs and to myself, take this moment, have a bit of respite over the summer if you can, a staycation, get to the beach, take a moment to rejuvenate and rebuild yourself up. But think about that next stage, as you say, because things have changed for you, and for business as well.
Joy Burnford: Absolutely. And I think I mentioned, earlier this year, I had many times I didn't feel particularly motivated. I'd love to know have you had moments when you haven't felt motivated and what steps have you taken to get yourself out of that rut? What kind of practical things can you suggest to people?
Tamara Gillan: Mine are terrible, absolutely terrible and very stereotypical in many ways. I had several years ago, complete burnout, I was flying back and forth, I didn't have my son, I was flying back and forth to Munich in the week, I’d come back on Friday, late. I launched O2 priority here with them, and my client went to Germany, and it was a battle, it was hard. And I completely crashed and burned and actually didn't want to get up. And it was only for a couple of weeks. But it hadn’t happened to me before. And I did actually start seeing a therapist, I think that's good. But a really good friend of mine said, and she's Australian, and I love her. She said, Tamara, put your rags on, get dressed, you'll feel a million times better and get out there. And just get back, get back to it. And it actually was transformative because for me, rightly or wrongly, when I put on my heels, put on my makeup, blow dried my hair. And I went outside, I did feel different. I did. And it was with the therapy and with the rest, it was the thing that kind of got me out of my head. So whatever your tools are, and you and I had a call the other day and I was doing my nails while talking to you. Yes, no way I can do nails and hair, and everything without multitasking.
Joy Burnford: Exactly. I always talk about my trips to the hairdresser's and I end up taking business things with me to the hairdresser's. Because I think, well, if I can fit things in and I can sit down my hair done at the same time, then that's a way to fit work and life together.
Tamara Gillan: Today, no word of a lie. I'm having my hair done. My nails done. And I should be doing my son’s homework at the same time. All at the kitchen table.
Joy Burnford: Indeed. So I'm coming to the end of the podcast now. And it's been such a pleasure to talk to you. Now, what I'd love to finish with is a question, if you could give our listeners one top tip for juggling everything life throws at us, what would that be?
Tamara Gillan: You have to create boundaries, I think the boundaries have been incredibly blurred, all the trips and the things that we did whether that was commuting, reading a book on the way, going to the gym, popping out. They've gone, we work more than we've ever worked before. And I think that to all the things we're talking about, whether that's to celebrate, recognise what's happened, whether that's to plan, what's next and the goal, you have to create some boundaries and create some space for you to do that. So I think revisit the boundaries. Be honest about the boundaries and share those with those around you. We've all started working and living differently. So let's re-establish it together. But tell people and don't be, I've always been a bit nervous in setting boundaries that I'm going to get my child from school. I'm going to get my child from school. And I'm also going to train at this really odd hour because I can now, because I'm working late. So why can't I train then.
Joy Burnford: Thank you so much Tamara, it's been an absolute pleasure chatting to you.
Tamara Gillan: You're a rock star. Thank you, speak soon.
Joy Burnford: And that’s it for this week. Thank you very much for listening and I’ll be back again soon with another Confidence Conversation. If you know anyone who might find this podcast useful, please do keep the conversation going and pass on a link and it would give me a real confidence boost if you could subscribe, rate and leave a written review (on Apple podcasts here or on Podchaser here).
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